My Dad.... My Hero

I am going to attempt to compose a decent memorial to my Father, on the 1st anniversary of his death,
November 16th. I have been putting this off, not feeling quite up to the task. Even now as I write I wonder
if I am capable of doing his memory justice.

I would like to describe just who my Father was and what he
meant....... to me.

A brief biography would be in order.

Samuel Michael Kushner was born into this world September 21, 1929, at
Kingston,Ontario of Russian parents, Nathan and Eva.
Sam, the youngest,had two sisters and a brother.
He had a typical upbringing for that time, which 
happened to be at the beginning of the great depression.
They were a poor family and had many struggles.

Sam was athletic and enjoyed playing sports.

In 1947 at the age of 17 Sam joined the Armed Forces.
He started off his years in the service as an aircraft technician and then
re-mustered as a draftsman around 1952. 
While stationed at the  Base in Trenton, Ontario he met and married
Barbara Mae Walsh on April 19th, 1951. Sam was then transferred
to Ottawa.
The next year on October 10th they welcomed their first child,
a son, Michael Thayne, who by circumstance was born in Trenton.
David Robert followed on January 20th, 1955, born in Ottawa.
And finally Karen Lynn  arrived in 1959.
By then the family had transferred to the Toronto area.

I must make mention of the fact that Sam was  a drummer in the pipe band
during his time in the forces.
He really enjoyed this activity and met many people who shared the
same interests.

I don't have any photos of him in his band uniform
unfortunately.

Three photos of Dad in his younger years.
Showing his playful side in the photo above.
Looking very dapper standing in front of a store.
And a casual pose, enjoying the sun.

Sam developed his artistic talents while in the service and was a
successful draftsman.    
He left the service  in 1967 and worked for a couple of companies as
a graphic artist before eventually opening his own business in downtown
Toronto sometime in the seventies. 
He did very well and was busy right up to the late seventies/early eighties
when the economy changed and his clients were changing their business
strategies by using their own people to do the work that my Dad had been
doing up till then.

This is the outside of his business card at the top and
the inside of the card below.


In 1967 the family moved to Peel Village in  Brampton where we lived until the
early eighties.  Sam sadly closed his business in Toronto and he and my mother
returned to the Trenton area permanently.  They moved to the village of Frankford
which is between Trenton and Belleville and remained in the same house on the river
right up to Sam's death last year in November.  My mother lives there still.
Sam did what he could in the Quinte region to make a living. He tried to keep his
graphic arts business afloat and commuted back and forth to Toronto for a while to
service his customers. Times were tough back then all over but he managed to find
work locally utilizing his artistic skills, working for the Shoppers Market and doing
the odd job where he could, working from his office at home.
When he got out of that line of work his final job was as a security guard at the
Anchorage (retirement condo complex) in Belleville.  He finally fully retired in 2004.
Barb and Sam joined the Lion's Club in Frankford in 1999 where Sam was able to once
again put his talents to good use by donating his services as a graphic artist as
needed as well as volunteering for many fundraising events such as the Christmas
Share program, and a Road Toll every year, and many bingos.
He worked tirelessly for the Lion's right up until shortly before his death when
he was too ill to work any longer.

My Dad in the early years while building his career was not home much between
work and travel time from Brampton to Toronto.
I remember many evenings he would come home, weary,
and would eat the plated supper we had put away for him
and then go to bed only to get up and do the same the following day.
He and my Mother were bowlers and had been since their early Forces days.
They enjoyed their leagues and all the people they met through bowling
over the years.
They enjoyed going to the wrap up bowling banquets with
their friends where they would dance all night.
They also really enjoyed going out to nice restaurants for dinner and always
became well known to the owners who enjoyed seeing them come and
treated them like family.

Even though Dad was busy with work, there were nice moments where 
he exerted his fatherly influence and tried taking  care of me  when I
was ill.
I remember him making me this home made concoction one time when
I was sick with the flu and a bad cough. 
It was a drink his mother had made for her kids when they were sick. 
It was hot milk with butter and honey in it.
I remember it tasting pretty funky.
He also wanted to make a mustard poultice for my chest but
couldn't remember how...
Thank goodness for small mercies!  

One time when I was young I had to prepare a project for school.
Dad came up with the idea of a collage using cut outs from
magazines and then pasted on bristol board.
He gathered up all the materials I needed and began  
"helping" me to put together my project.
After I went to bed he must have worked on it all
night and it was done by morning.
A very beautiful presentation,
which I remember getting a very high mark on which of
course I was undeserving of since it was Dad
who had done all the work.
I am sure the teacher must have suspected...
I could not have turned out such a masterpiece on my own.
Good thing I got a high mark...
he might have taken it badly if I hadn't.

Dad was my biggest fan,
always cheering my accomplishments and
encouraging me to move forward and to
reach for the stars.
He was pleased that I was selected to participate
in a French Immersion program,
the first of it's kind at our school.
Despite my reservations he encouraged me to try.
He was thrilled at my creative writing abilities
and always read with great pride my stories.
Sometimes he would get it into his head that I
needed to embrace an idea he had for my
potential greatness.
He really hoped I would join the armed forces and
follow in his footsteps.
He thought it a great idea for something worthwhile
that I could accomplish in my life, to have a path to follow
that would secure my future.
I always felt bad for letting him down and deciding
not to go through with his dream for me.
But I knew he understood when I chose a
different path.



Dad always loved Christmas.
He would get so excited for us kids but maybe more so for himself.
We always had plenty of presents to open and Dad was
interested in watching our delight upon opening them.   
Every year I did some Christmas fun stuff such as preparing a chain
of the days till Christmas and Dad got a kick out of that.
Somebody in the family would read to me 
"Twas the Night Before Christmas"every year on Christmas Eve
and even after I was married Dad read it to me still. 
His enthusiasm never decreased over the years despite us getting older.
In fact it grew even more as the grandchildren began arriving and he
would get as much joy out of Christmas as in the earlier years.
What he loved the most about Christmas,  I think, 
was the gathering of family around he and my Mom.
It was one of the many times he would show just how important
we all were to him.
His happiest times were Christmases spent with my Mom's family in
Trenton in the early years of their marriage.   
I missed many a Christmas after I moved out west and every year Dad
would express how sad he was not to have me home with the family.
He was truly excited at Bruce and I coming home to live last year and the 
fact that we would be there for my first Christmas in years.
I wish he could have held on just another few months.





Dad and I became even closer after I married in 1980.
He was no longer in Toronto working at his business by then
and was home more often.
Even though I was married and had a home of my own
I would go to visit often.
Dad and I would sit at the kitchen table and he would
tell me stories from his bygone days and we just enjoyed
each other's company.
Dad had a very sarcastic but quick sense of humor and
loved to laugh which we did together.... a lot.
Both my Mom and Dad enjoyed my friends that would come around
and they thought of some of them as daughters and had close
relationships with them.
Dad of course was strict and very protective of me especially, 
and likely no boyfriend was good enough for me in his eyes.
But he would always accept them and welcome them into our
home with no reservations. 
When I finally got married at the age of 21,
I am sure he breathed a sigh of relief that I would
be well taken care of.
At the end of 1984 my husband and I moved out
west to Fort McMurray.
This was my first time so far away from family 
and I know it hurt my parents to no longer have me close by.
They came out to Alberta to visit several times over the years.
I was divorced in 1991 and still living in McMurray and they came
out to see Bruce and I at our home and we also met them on another
occasion in Edmonton and went on a trip through the Rockies together.   
Dad and Mom came out west one more time together to see us when
we lived in Redcliff and it was a truly memorable visit.
They were with us for 10 short days when they had to get back
because Dad had to return for work.
We really had a great time and I will never forget how much
we enjoyed their visit.
.................................................................................................................................................................................

When I was called to come home after my Dad
went into the hospital for what would be his final
journey it was the moment I had been
dreading since first hearing of his terminal illness.
I didn't want to see him ravished by his illness.
I would rather have remembered him as he was in the past...... 
my strong and loving Father.
One who I had become so dependent upon through
my lifetime.
But now he needed his children and the tables were turned.
We owed him that much after all his years of
dedication to us, to see this through and usher him out
with all our love and respect, as difficult and painful as
it would be... as it was.
Due to timing and circumstances,
Dad left this world in the early morning hours on
November 16th without any of us there with him.
For this I will always be sad and regretful
but a part of me believes
this is how he wanted it to be.
To spare us, his family, 
the pain and sadness of seeing him take his
final breath.
His final act of love for his wife and children.
I wish you hadn't had to leave us so soon.
I miss you every single day.
...........................................................................................................................................
At his memorial many people approached me wanting
to share with me stories of what a wonderful friend
he had been to them.
This really meant the world to me to hear how much
he was loved and how he would be missed.
The Lions put on a lovely tribute to him and I
discovered some things about him I had not been aware of.
What he had done for the club and the awards he had received.

My Dad's life had maybe not been anything more than
typical and average as most people's lives are
but he was a superstar to those that knew and
loved him and if a man's success in life can be measured
by how many
people loved him then......
Samuel Michael Kushner was a very rich man!

Love you Dad!